How to get over a break-up?

I’ve always wanted to write this article but haven’t had the time and the inspiration to do so. But since I have ample time now, I will try to remember all the things I did to get over a few of my break-ups.

As you already know, I had three ex-boyfriends before I met my husband. The first one was when I was 17, the second when I was 30 and the third when I was 31.

I think getting over break-ups get harder when a person gets older. Why? Maybe because when they are older, they are more serious, there are more things that they have invested, more things they have sacrificed, more people have been involved, and more dreams have been shattered? Mmmhh. Maybe!

Getting over it also depends on the person’s self-esteem. Because I believe that when two people break-up, when one leaves, the other person puts a whole inside the other’s person’s heart. That heart needs to be filled again by God, by family, friends, someone o r something. It really depends on to whom you put your self-esteem or worth. Is it in God or in man?

They say that there are five stages of healing: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I believe I have gone through all of that.

How to get over a break-up based on my experience? These steps are kind of funny, which is really the intention of the article: to find humor in something that is very sad. Hehe.

Here are some of the things you can do (not in order of importance)…

1. Change your mobile number. This is quite hard to do especially since we live now in a world that everyone is connected. But once you’ve been successful in changing your mobile number, make sure na wag na wag mo syang ite-text in the middle of the night pag nalulungkot ka na. Panindigan mo Te. Hehe. It would also help if you tell all your roommates to remind you na wag itext ang mokong mong ex-bf. Sabihin nating nag-iba ka na ng mobile number, siguraduhin mo rin na hindi mo memorize ang number ng ex mo. Try to memorize other numbers and never think about his number again. After a few months, makakalimutan mo rin.
2. Delete or Block in all Social Networks. As I’ve said, medyo mahirap itong gawin. But this will help you big time. Make sure deleted din lahat ng family members nya or friends nya. Especially those friends na hindi mo naman tlaga friends before you got together. Unfair naman sa kanila? Hindi ah! Tama lang yun. Kasi wala na rin naman purpose ung friendship with his family. Baket pa? Masasaktan nyo lang ung mga future gf/bf nyo! And most probably, yun din ang gusto ng family at friends nya & vise-versa.
3. Avoid places you usually go to with him. Lalo mo lang kasi sya maalala and you might rationalize the break-up kasi you're hurting. Avoid the places para ma-erase din sya sa memory mo. But i know some people they deliberately do the opposite, kasi daw mas na-i-immune sila dun sa pain. Either way, it's really up to you.
4. If you live alone, then this is the best time to go back to your family’s house, kahit temporary. I live in Makati ever since I started working. When my ex and I broke-up, I called my parents and asked them if they can fetch me coz I’m coming back home. Every day, I travel from Cavite to Makati and vise versa. This step really helped me a lot because my mind was so occupied with travelling. I had to get up at 4am, be at the bus station at 5am and be in the office at 7am. After office, I had to go straight back home to beat the traffic. Pagdating ng haus, almost 8pm na. Kaya I’m so dead tired to think about my ex. Ang bonus pa dyan is I get to see all my pamangkins, which is a theraphy. They really make me happy ^_^
5. Read books. I know that not everyone loves to read books, but it’s worth a try. You can start reading books about understanding break-ups like “He’s not that into you” (which I think is very honest and true), and “It’s called break-up coz it’s broken” (this book will help you not rationalize the break-up). Then you can move into “Captivating” to understand women, then “Wild at Heart” to understand men. After all that understanding, you can now move into reading books about the one who loves you unconditionally.
6. Buy something new. Well, this is really depends on your budget. Make sure you don’t just “swipe” or else baka ma-heartbroken ka when the bill comes. Maybe simple things lang, like a blouse, a bag or a sandals. But if you have the budget, then go ahead….buy a new Mobile, a PSP, IPAD or DSLR. hehe
7. Get a new look. Maybe a slight color in your hair or a trim or a new style. But NEVER cut it short. Not yet. Maybe after a few months when you are a bit okay. Hehe
8. Go out with Friends.  This really helped me a lot but make sure you find good friends na dadalhin ka sa tama at hindi sa mali. Get good counseling. You are blessed if you can find friends who will be honest to you and at the same time doesn’t scold you kapag naririndi na sila sa paulit-ulit mong kwento about your ex. I have two great friends (Chel & Jovy) who decided to text me to remind me how pretty I am. One will text me in the morning and one in the afternoon. Hayz. Sovra touch ako sa love nila for me. :D
9. Focus on your work/studies. Eto medyo mahirap gawin coz some people really can’t work when they are in pain. But if you are the type na kaya mo, then focus ka lang muna sa work. Work and work until mapansin ka ng boss mo at ma-promote ka. Bongga dba? Hehe
10. Find a new Hobby. Marami kang pwedeng pag-pilian, you can get into sports, into writing articles or poems, create a blog, get into photography etc.
11. Travel. This one is quite expensive but is a sure ball. Hehe. Travelling will boost your self-esteem, not only because you can say that you can afford to travel, but It can also make you realize that you are blessed or lucky compared to others. You will also be amazed  at meeting new people, seeing a different culture, hearing a different language. Yun lang, medyo nakaka-adik ang travelling. Hehe
12. Go to church and pray a lot.  This is the best step that you can do because God is the only one who can fulfill you, comfort you and make you whole again.

After doing all these steps, I was able to move to acceptance after three months. Sympre iba iba naman ang tao. Some people mas matagal, some people mas mabilis. One day you feel na okay ka na, one day you will feel hindi na naman pala. hehe. Just be patient. It will come at the right time. But getting over a break-up really depends on how much you wanted to get over it.

Break-ups! Part yan ng buhay eh! But sabi nga ng husband ko, “wise are the people who learn from their mistakes. But wiser are the people who learn from other people’s mistakes”

Be patient. Listen to godly counseling. Ask God for the right person.

It's more fun in the Philippines!

Travelling! This is something that I really love to do. But who doesn't, right? I mean if everyone only has the guts and the resources to travel, why won't they?! ^_^

What do you get from travelling? Well, you get to see different places, different people and different culture. Sabi nga nila "mas lalawak daw ang pananaw mo sa buhay when you travel!" and I agree. Somehow, it gives you the feeling that this LIFE, this WORLD is BIG and that it doesn't only revolved around you. Siguro, somehow, nawawala ung pagiging self-centered! hehe

Anyway, marami pang benefits ang travelling! You get to take pictures para mai-post sa fb mo! hehe. And for me, na-develop talaga ung confidence ko. I was able to fight a lot of my fears, like fear of heights, fear of rejections, fear of looking like a fool (especially pag nawawala ka and you need to ask for directions), fear of taking the risks and a lot lot more! :D

My first "travel" was in 2003 (I think?), when I was 25 years old. I went to KL and Singapore. But since this article is about the Philippines, well, let's talk about my travel in our own country! It started in 2009 when I got out of a very painful relationship. A good friend introduced me to a guy friend who organizes travel in and out of the country. Because of my desire to really be "okay", I joined him and his friends and this is where everything started.

San-san na nga ba ako nakapunta dito sa ating bansa? Let's start from Luzon to Mindanao.

I've been to Ilocos Sur and Ilocos Norte (Vigan, Laoag, Baluarte, Malacanang of the North etc.), Baguio, Nueva Ecija, Baler, Padre Burgo Quezon, Naga City Bicol, Wakeboarding Center in CamSur, Bagasbas Camarines Norte, Calaguas Island, Boracay (been here 4 times), Bohol, Cagayan De Oro, Camiguin and Bukidnon. At sympre di mawawala ang Pampanga (where I grew up), Bataan, Bulacan, Manila, Makati, Cavite, Laguna, Batangas and Navotas (my husband's place).

I've also climb a few mountains such as Mt. Tarak in Bataan, Mt. Makiling in Laguna (take note Traverse hehe), Mt. Manabu in Lipa Batangas, Mt. Batulao also in Batangas, Mt. Sembrano in Antipolo and Mt. Famy in Sta. Cruz Laguna

So, let's start with my journey by showing you some of my pictures....

BORACAY!

I believe this is still the best beach ever. What to do here? Just like me, you can get a tattoo, drive a speedboat, snorkling, para-sailing, sailing, wall-climbing, watch the sunset and enjoy the night life. hehe!

BALER, Aurora!

Baler is located on the upper part of the Philippines. It's one of the best surfing spots in the country (together with La Union & Bagasbas). What's also amazing about this place is the journey coming here because you will pass by the famous Sierra Madre.

The waves are very nice, safe for beginners like me. However, be careful with the current. Make sure you dont swim pass by the safety line.

BAGASBAS, Camarines Norte!

This is where I did my first "surfing." Well, I know that this might come as a surprise, but do you know that I cannot swim? haha!

An old boss told me "Cristy, you are a dare-devil! How can you surf without knowing how to swim?" That's also my question. haha. But it's just basic surfing. Nothing to worry. The water is only up to my head. :D

Anyway, the first time we decided to surf, I was with 5 friends who all know how to swim! As we were listening to our instructors, my mind kept telling me "Cristy, don't do that! that's not safe! don't you dare!" However, there's this fire within me, saying "It's okay, face your fears, you can do it." I am not suggesting that you ignore safety issues, but be smart! Since the instructor told me it is okay, I decided to take the risk and do it! And no regrets. hehehe

CALAGUAS ISLAND!

The second most beautiful beach I've ever been to. The water and sand are perfect. There are only two negative things about this place. One is that there's no place to stay in the island. You have to bring your own tent and food. There's a caretaker who will allow you to use their comfort rooms, but don't expect that it will be clean and pretty. Second is that this island is very far from civilization. You have to take a bangka for about an hour. And I'm telling you, the bangka doesn't have any life vest and the waves are really wild. So, if ever you decide to go to this place, be safe. Better if you bring your own life vest!

PADRE BURGOS, Quezon!

This is where I first did "kayaking." It was a good experience because the water is just so quiet, very still. They also call this place "Little Palawan" and sure enough, it really looks like Palawan. Some of the people also do rappelling here!

BOHOL!

There's just so many things to see and do here. Seeing the Chocolate Hills brings me back to my childhood. It was surreal because I never thought that I could actually see something that I only see in books during elementary.

You can also see the Tarsier and Dolphins, have lunch at Loboc River and have dinner at Bee Farm. I also recommend going to Bohol Beach Club and of course eat a "sea urchins." I've tried it and it actually taste like a ripe mango. Yes! try it! :D

MOUNTAINS!

My eyes were opened to climbing in early 2000 when my grandfather died. It became my bonding moments with my sisters and cousins. It also helped me to fight my fear of heights and to lessen my so called "kaartehan." When you are in a mountain, walang c.r., walang ligo-ligo, punas-punas lang. hehe!

This is also a place where you'll really see God's creation in its rawest form. Sa bundok, walang ilaw, walang ingay. The stars will be your light and the birds will be your sound. It is a good place to bond with God, away from all the noise and chaos of the city.

There are a lot of mountains in other countries, yun lang, sa kanila either may snow or may wild animals! hehe. Kaya nga even sa climbing, it's more fun in the Philippines!

CAGAYAN DE ORO, CAMIGUIN AND BUKIDNON!

This is my first trip to Mindanao. Honestly, this is also the first time I saw a "Muslim" in person. Not knowing na okay naman pala. They are very nice and the place is very peaceful.

We did a lot of stuff here. We did water-rafting in CDO and it was "one-of-a-kind-experience." It was scary but very exciting. Grave! My feet were sore kasi isiniksik ko talaga sila dun sa boat para hindi ako malaglag.

Camiguin is such a beautiful island. Bukidnon is where I took my first "zip-line experience"! In fact, it was the longest zipline in the Philippines. It was scary but oh so worth it!!

There are still tons of places to go to like Batanes (sabi nila mas maganda pa daw ito sa New Zealand), Sorsogon (to see the butanding), Caramoan (maybe try wake-boarding? hehe), Cebu, Davao and Palawan. I am sure I will visit them all soon with my husband and kids.

So, are you convinced that it is more fun in the Philippines? YES! Of course! hehe!

Remember, what really makes our country beautiful is not only the place but it is the people!

I am proud to be Pinoy! ^_^