Finally....our Angel is here!

May 9, 2012 - I did all the count. I researched it thoroughly. But to no avail. This day, I had my period and it was very heartbreaking. I was in the office. When I found out, I wasn’t able to keep it. I cried in front of my officemates. They were sad too. In fact, two of them were both trying for years, but still not getting pregnant. They told me “Don’t worry boss, it will come”.

I told my husband about it and I know that he is very sad too. In fact, we didn’t discuss it anymore. I know he was hurt as much as I am because we were really expecting it. And the more he hides it from me, the more it becomes more painful on my side. I kept asking myself “Why? Did I make a mistake in counting? Is there something wrong with me? Will I still get pregnant? Why is it that everyone around me seems to be getting pregnant except me? What if I won’t have a child? What if I can’t give Rab a child? What will happen to my marriage?”

One morning in May – I was at home. Still sad about what happened, worried about the unknown. I was trying to keep myself busy by doing some chores in the house. Then in a blink of an eye, I broke down. I was in the living room and i fell down on the floor, I knelt to God, crying, weeping with all my heart, asking God “Why Lord? Why am I not pregnant?”

May 25 – I went home for a three-day vacation in the Philippines with my husband. We got our 1st car during this trip and sabi namin “since wala pang baby, ung car muna ang baby natin.” We didnt pressure ourselves anymore in really trying to conceive.

May 27 – Our guest speaker in church asked the congregation to come forward if they have anything they want to pray for. My husband told me “tara, punta tayo, para mapag-pray ka na rin ni Pastor.” I did come at the altar and found myself crying profusely again. Then Pastor touched my head and after a few seconds he said “The Lord is telling you to stop looking at other people. You have to wait. You will be blessed, just wait.”

After that day, I stopped thinking about getting pregnant, about worrying if I will even get pregnant. I held on to the Lord’s promise. Every time, a doubt sneak into my mind and heart, I go back to those words when He said “Just wait, you will be blessed” and then I brush off all my doubts.

June 14 (Thursday) – I woke up and suddenly thought “maybe I should take the test today?” since it’s already the 37^th day from my last period. But because I am already late for work, I told myself “sa Saturday na lang.”

I don’t have any pregnancy symptoms and to avoid giving my husband false expectations and hope, I didn’t tell him that it’s already my 37^th day (and for sure, di rin naman nya gets hehe)

In the office, I was having some very mild abdominal pains, sometimes on the left side, sometimes on the right. So, I told my officemates about it and they said “Why not go to the doctor? Have it checked.” Then I realized “sige na nga, para wag na ako pacheckup ulit sa Pinas, at least sagot pa ng company now. hehe”

6:30pm – I was in the clinic. I sent a chat to my husband, I said “Beh, nasa clinic na ako. dami tao. Pachek-up ko ung sakit ko sa tyan” He replied “okay beh, dami lang ginagawa d2. Sge. balitaan mo ako. baka nakabuo tayo. Hehe.” Since I still don’t want to give him false hope again, I just replied “hehe”

7:30pm – They called me. I went inside the Doctor’s room and I said “Doc, I’ve been married for six months and I want to know if everything inside is okay. Can you give me an ultrasound? But Doc I’m not sure if I’m pregnant now. My last period is May 9. And also Doc I have pains in my tummy. Can you check?”

While I was lying there, I honestly don’t have any expectations. I was just praying that everything inside me is healthy. And so she started to do the ultrasound. She was frowning. I said “Is everything okay Doc? Is my uterus okay? Are my tubes okay?” She said “Yeah, okay. Okay. Your uterine lining is very thick but I cannot see a sac. You also have polycystic ovary syndrome on one tube that’s why you have irregular period. Let’s do the urine test ‘coz I think you are pregnant.”

Then I went out and had my urine test. While waiting for the Doctor to call me again, I didn’t tell my husband what happened. I whispered a prayer. ”If I’m pregnant I will praise you. If I am not pregnant, I will praise you just the same.”

The nurse called me so I went inside the Doctor’s room, then she said “You are pregnant. You see it’s positive.” I was in complete shock. I didn’t even look thoroughly on the pregnancy test. I just said “Really Doc? Oh my Gosh! Oh my Gosh! We’re waiting for this for so long.”

As soon as I got out of the clinic, I called my husband immediately and this is how the conversation went.

Me: Beh, the Lord heard our prayer

Rab: What? Huh? D ko gets..

Me: I am pregnant

Rab: (breathing, silent, speechless)

Me: Last month lang pinagppray natin, tapos ngayon andyan na!

Rab: Really? Talaga beh?

Me: Uu beh, I am pregnant (I started crying)

Rab: (I know he’s crying too.. hehe)

After this day, I went back to May 9 when we were heartbroken and full of questions. I realized na ganun pala un, you really have to let go and let God.

In this life we will always face “unknown” things. We should not lose hope kasi si God alam na nya ung simula at katapusan ng buhay natin. We should trust Him. We should learn to trust Him. Let us not underestimate the power of prayer.


However, hindi rin sa lahat ng panahon eh makukuha natin what we've prayed for. Minsan pwedeng hindi niya ibigay kahit na anu pang pilit natin. Nevertheless, we should always remember that whatever happens, even if we dont understand, lagi natin isipin that God is good all the time & all the time God is good!